Three Tips for Giving Sex-Positive Advice to People Who Haven’t Had Sex and Want To


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You’re at the wedding of a very conservative relative who hasn’t had partnered sex before. How can you give sex-positive advice?

Recently, I went to the wedding of one of my very religious cousins.  I wasn’t planning on talking about sex at all while I was there, but the wedding gave me the opportunity to be sex-positive in an environment that I had always experienced as very sex-negative.

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Can You Hate Pain But Still Play Like A Sadomasochist? Part 2


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Note: This story contains graphic descriptions of my own sexual experiences. If reading about my sex life might be TMI for you, then you’ll want to skip this post.

Can you hate causing pain to other people but still enjoy kinky, sadomasochistic play?

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Can You Hate Pain But Still Play Like A Sadomasochist? Part 1


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Note: This story contains graphic descriptions of my own sexual experiences. If reading about my sex life might be TMI for you, then you’ll want to skip this post.

Can you hate feeling pain but still enjoy kinky, sadomasochistic play?

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The TARDIS Tickler


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Introducing my first hand-crafted dildo: The TARDIS Tickler!

The "TARDIS Tickler"

A copy of my favorite dildo with a miniature TARDIS suspended inside.

This toy is dedicated to gender outlaw Kate Bornstein, who is one of the most amazing people I know — and a huge Doctor Who fan.

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Interview with Dr. X. Treme of X. Treme Orgasmatronics


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A physics-based sex toy? FUCK YES! Meet Doctor X. Treme, who has a Ph.D.in applied physics and invents sex machines. He is the founder of  X. Treme Orgasmatronics, which will soon be launching its first product, the X1 Orgasmatron.

I was introduced to Doctor X. Treme by a friend who I met at Transcending Boundaries 2011.  Last weekend, I got to see his soon-to-be-launched X1 in person, and all I can say is that I think he’s on to something with this whole “science” thing. The X1 doesn’t feel like any other toy I’ve ever tried, and I can’t wait to buy one and collect some data myself. >:) I love to talk with other kinky geeks, so I appreciate this opportunity to pick Doctor X.’s brain and hear about his design process.

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In Memoriam: Ian Halliburton Smith and the True Story of Magisterius University’s Smith Hall


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Ian Halliburton SmithIf you do a Google search on “Ian Halliburton Smith”, all you will find is the location of his tombstone. I wanted to take some time today to remember Ian because he was an amazing person, and he deserves a better memorial online than just a link to a tombstone.

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The Mind-Altering Substance You Might Be Bringing Into Your Bedroom


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(or, Strap-On Sex + IRC FTW)

Note: This story contains graphic descriptions of my own sexual experiences. If reading about my sex life might be TMI for you, then you’ll want to skip this post.

Technology and pleasure can intersect in a variety of ways (especially when you have a very broad definition of technology. Many of us decide to add dildos, vibrators, rope or other toys to our play because we want new physical experiences.  What we don’t often consider is how using technology can change how you think about those physical experiences.  (Not to mention the fact that bringing a new piece of technology into the bedroom can be extremely funny.)

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How to Make an Aluminum Cane


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Instructions by Kirr (on Fetlife) and Kristen

This is a very basic project that only requires a couple of tools. The cane pictured also happens to be the first cane I’ve ever experienced. The fact that it’s pretty lightweight meant it didn’t seem as scary to try, and it felt very interesting without being overwhelming.

Thanks to Kirr for telling me about this project!

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My “Bad First Time”: How I Learned To Love My Sexuality


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Note: This story contains graphic descriptions of my own sexual experiences. If reading about my sex life might be TMI for you, then you’ll want to skip this post.

How I lost my virginity–in the heteronormative, genital intercourse sense–was more of a process than a discrete event. I want to tell this story because this experience had a major impact on the person who I grew into.

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By the Book: My DIY Sexual Education


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Growing up, the best technology I had to learn how sex worked was the written word.  A little creativity with a library card can work wonders.

Note: This story contains graphic descriptions of my own sexual experiences. If reading about my sex life might be TMI for you, then you’ll want to skip this post.

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