My First Pervertables

Note: This story contains graphic descriptions of my own sexual experiences — it’s the first really personal story I’ve posted on my blog so I’m really excited to share it. However, if reading about my sex life might be TMI for you, then you’ll want to skip this post.

When you don’t have anyone you can talk to about sex, figuring out masturbation can be a little tricky.

My first play partner was one of my Ken dolls. I knew that intercourse involved a man’s penis entering a vagina, and Ken was the closest thing to a man that I had access to.  I was pretty disappointed to pull down his shorts and find a vague crotch-shaped outline with no distinguishable cock to speak of.  Still convinced that I should be trying to have sex with a man, I ended up holding him between my legs, rubbing his head against the crotch of my panties.  I felt the weight of the blankets on my back and tried to imagine that a man was pressing his weight down on me.  It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t particularly satisfying, either.

I learned a critical piece of masturbatory technique from a friend of mine in junior high. She was sleeping over at my house, and we decided to give a “sex talk” to my younger sister and one of her friends.  I loved these talks, even though anything I knew about sex was from books, because they were the only socially acceptable way I had to talk about sex.  So we’re lying on my bedroom floor, and my friend starts talking about masturbation. I figure I already have that covered, until she says, “Some girls even put their fingers inside themselves!”

My next thought was: “Holy cow! You can DO that?”

It had absolutely never occurred to me that it would be a good idea to touch my pussy directly with my fingers, much less try to work them inside.  Playing with myself became much more fun after that.  I was able to give myself my first orgasms, riding my middle finger while I pushed my palm against my clit.

After a while, though, it still seemed like something was missing.  I wanted to really feel filled, and it was hard to imagine having sex with a guy when I could feel my own hands touching myself.  I started looking around my bedroom when I remembered my miniature souvenir baseball bat.  It was about 18″ long. The barrel was about an inch and a half in diameter, and it slimmed down at the handle; the knob at the end of the handle was a little less than an inch in diameter. It was long and hard, two qualities which my research indicated were extremely desirable.  Perfect!

When I was just warming up, I could use the smaller, handle end. As I got hotter and wetter, I would turn it around and push the thicker end inside me. The best part was that I could hold the handle with my feet and fuck myself with it that way, pushing it in and out. It felt so good, and I could almost imagine that it was someone else inside me.  After I found out about anal sex through a piece of erotica I found online, I tried pushing the smaller end of the bat inside my ass with my feet while working fingers in my pussy and against my clit.  It was a little tricky to keep the bat at a comfortable angle and not accidentally push inside too far too quickly…but when it worked, it was absolutely amazing.

What’s more amazing is that I never contracted any infections from the bat, despite the fact that the only things I had to clean it with were soap and water. I didn’t have access to condoms (the Lutheran Church frowned upon giving any kind of birth control to unmarried people, since that just encourages them to have sex).  I hadn’t had any really useful sex education. In what little I did have, toys and masturbation weren’t on the agenda.   It finally occurred to me that I should put plastic wrap over the handle before using it in my ass, which turned out to be a useful innovation.

Using pervertables (ordinary objects re-purposed as sex toys) was part of my growth as a sexual being.  This is one of the reasons I am so interested in technological empowerment: DIY toymaking and toy hacking can make having new experiences more accessible to people.


My First Pervertables — 7 Comments

  1. Interesting… we must be of a similar vintage… we got dial-up when I was in high school, too. Although my first masturbatory experiences still excite me to think about them as well (I’ll never forget my first real orgasm and ejaculation) it’s even more exciting to read first-hand stories like yours.

    • Glad you enjoyed the story! I suppose technically we had dial-up when I was in elementary school — Prodigy. But it wasn’t really The Internet, it was just a network of assorted pages all created by Prodigy. Getting the actual internet in high school was much more entertaining. ;)

  2. hi,

    I stumbled across your chance by googling for diy sex toys. Well, you had some success in this domain, congrats!

    As a maker guy loving sex I’ve always been searching for what you call “pervertables”, specifically in hardware stores, and I still do that from time to time.

    I personnally think that pervertables are easier to find for vaginas than for cocks; basically it’s easy to find something that looks like a penis, you can find a variety of rods, sticks, moldable materials, etc. But it’s more difficult to find something you can stick your dick into. Rubber parts are often hard and can easily hurt, and silicone sealant is not really soft, I tried to make a fleshlight from that, but it does not feel good.
    I will probably try something with DIY “air muscles” at some point, parts for that are quite easy to find.

    keep up the good blog!

  3. follow up: My family (I’m european) was not so conservative, but I never talked about ‘sex’ with my parents. All I learnt was via friends, the internet (but I did not have access to the web before college),… and experimentation in my bed.

    At first I found that hard erections were quite a pleasure, and as time went by, I added erotic stories to the process. I had no idea of how a girl was “made”, but looking at myself, I expected that my cock would go into some cavity. At that time, I did not have the idea to stick my penis between pillows yet…

    More and more erotic stories finally brought me to my first (hands free!) orgasm ! this was totally unexpected. I was ~10yo, and I was astonished by the amount of pleasure I received, compared to the previous enjoyable feeling of a strong erection. The following nights I tried to reproduce that, and I quickly discovered masturbation after a few days. I may have been quite young, because at this time, the ejaculation was really small, if any. Only later I had to find some pervertables for sperm reception and elimination (buying condoms was not possible because of parents’ surveillance).

    this is the first time I tell this to anyone, but the story of your early experiences gave me confidence. thanks!

    • I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog! Thanks so much for writing. :) And it’s great that you were able to start discovering your own sexuality! Thank you for sharing your story.

  4. I’ll never forget the sawed off section of broom handle wrapped in plastic wrap, which served as my first pervertable anal toy…

    I think many of us resort to household objects when we first begin discovering our sexuality or, for some of us, the more obscure aspects of it.

    I really enjoyed this thread, as it reminded me that many of the more sublime, gratifying, and thrilling sexual encounters I have enjoyed owe their existence to very humble beginnings.

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