A Surprising Truth About Sex/Kink-Positive Spaces

Since starting this blog, I’ve had a few experiences in sex/kink-positive spaces which…well, felt awkward and kind of creepy. I think I’ve finally figured out why they felt creepy: the people who I was interacting with didn’t appreciate a fundamental truth about our shared space.

A Surprising Truth About Sex/Kink-Positive Spaces

The truth about sex/kink-positive spaces is that a lot of them are basically public.  They may feel kind of private because you’re probably with a group of like-minded individuals who share a lot of common interests.  They may feel kind of private…but they aren’t.  It’s important to realize this distinction because it affects what counts as polite, acceptable behavior (as opposed to creepy behavior).

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Fixing your favorite toys with sugru

My favorite vibrator has a very special place in my heart: I always want to keep it close to me. I’m so happy it’s a part of my life. I love it despite its faults.

Fortunately, since we are talking about a sex toy and not a person, I can say that I’ve figured out how to fix it so that I don’t have to deal with any of its crap anymore.  Enter sugru, a silicone-based “self-setting rubber.”

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The Hammer: Fun With Animated GIFs

While I was out at Arse Elektronika, I decided that I really needed a nice animated GIF of my wearing The Hammer…and a way to create some memes (or, more accurately, image macros).  Blatant self-promotion? Check.

Share and enjoy!

My favorite:
The Hammer Is My Penis

My second favorite:
All Glory To The Hypnocock

Got another idea? Here’s a blank template:
Blank image macro of The Hammer (animated gif)

All of these images and the blank template are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. I would love to see what else you come up with! Feel free to remix and post your own memes here or elsewhere on the interwebs. ;)

The Hammer: Technical Talk at Arse Elektronika 2012

I recently got back from Arse Elekronika 2012, where I was thrilled to receive a Golden Kleene award for my work here! Thanks so much to everyone at Monochrom and all of the conference organizers — it was a fantastic conference, and I’m really honored to have received the Golden Kleene and to have been invited to speak.

Unfortunately I don’t have a recording of the whole talk, but fellow speaker Khannea Suntzu was able to capture a couple of excerpts. Thank you, Khannea!

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The Hammer: A Muscle-Controlled, Light-Up Dildo

I'm proud to present my latest creation: The Hammer!  The Hammer is a prototype test-your-strength game that's an insertable, muscle-controlled, light-up dildo. Update, 1/5/13: The Hammer has been listed as Cracked.com's #1 Geekiest Sex Toy! Welcome, everyone!

Like innovative sex/kink-positive projects? Maybe you have an idea of your own, but need to raise some money? Check out my new startup, Passionate Produce!

The Hammer Is My Penis

Update #1, 10/11/12: If you would like to hear me talk about how I made The Hammer, you can see some excerpts and my slides from my technical talk at Arse Elektronika 2012.

Update #2, 10/11/12: The Hammer + animated GIFs = Win!

Update #3, 1/5/13: See The Hammer in Person! (Ignite Craft Boston, Arisia)

The TLDR:
When the bulb of The Hammer is squeezed, the shaft lights up.

When the bulb of The Hammer is squeezed, the shaft lights up.

The Hammer has 12 individually-addressable RGB LED's to make it a glowing, rainbow cock!

The Hammer has 12 individually-addressable RGB LED's.

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Upcoming talks: San Francisco and Springfield, MA

I’m going to be speaking and showing off some of my projects at a couple of neat conferences this fall. If you’re in the area, please come out and see me!

Arse Elektronika (Sept. 27-30) I’ll be unveiling my latest creation, The Hammer, on Thursday night at Prixxx Arse at The Armory and then giving a technical talk on Sunday (9/30) at 3pm at Noisebridge:

The Hammer: A Test-Your-Strength Game
This talk will introduce The Hammer, a test-your-strength game, including a live demonstration and a brief technical presentation. The Hammer is a silicone toy consisting of a bulb, instrumented with a force sensor, and a shaft, containing a row of LEDs. The bulb is inserted (either into a vagina or an anus) — when the person squeezes, the shaft illuminates.  The harder you squeeze, the brighter it gets.

Transcending Boundaries (Oct. 26-28) The final schedule hasn’t been released, but I will be co-presenting two talks and running a Birds of a Feather session.

Queering Role in BDSM Play
The idea of breaking binaries around gender and sexuality can be very empowering. In this session, we look at queering identity in the context of BDSM: “kinky vs. vanilla”, “dom vs. sub vs. switch”, and “top vs. bottom vs. switch” are all categories that we can reimagine. We’ll discuss the concept of a “rolequeer” identity and have a group brainstorming session about how to subvert norms and rewrite traditional BDSM roles in our play.

Changing the Playbook – Negotiating Asexual/Sexual Relationships
What does it mean for an asexual person and a sexual person to start a relationship? The presenters (one pansexual and one asexual) share some of their experiences and lessons learned, including understanding what (a)sexuality and physical intimacy mean for them; exploring the dynamics of physical, emotional, and romantic connections; and communicating desires and boundaries.

Toymaker Birds of a Feather
If you build, craft or hack any type of sex toys or BDSM equipment, come talk with fellow makers!  All people 18+ are welcome, regardless of your (a)sexuality/orientation/gender or what materials you work with (electronics, wood, metal, leather, software, etc). We want to facilitate face-to-face conversation because it’s such a great medium for showing off projects, sharing stories, and meeting new collaborators.

I hope to see some of you at these conferences!

Test Your Strength Game: Proof-of-Concept

At Arse Elektronika 2012 this fall, I’ll be presenting a Test Your Strength game!  This is the first electronics project I’ve ever done outside of a class: a silicone toy consisting of a bulb instrumented with a force sensor and a shaft containing a row of LEDs. The bulb is inserted either into a vagina, or potentially into an anus. When the person squeezes, the cock illuminates.  The harder you squeeze, the brighter it gets.

Because who doesn’t want a light-up cock?

The harder you squeeze, the more the toy will light up!

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Three Tips for Giving Sex-Positive Advice to People Who Haven’t Had Sex and Want To

You’re at the wedding of a very conservative relative who hasn’t had partnered sex before. How can you give sex-positive advice?

Recently, I went to the wedding of one of my very religious cousins.  I wasn’t planning on talking about sex at all while I was there, but the wedding gave me the opportunity to be sex-positive in an environment that I had always experienced as very sex-negative.

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